Thursday, December 10, 2009

A list

I’m going to do something unprecedented (for me, that is). I’m going to make a list of what I’m going to do/accomplish in what is left of 2009 and during 2010.

I’m going to sign the contract with an international printer/distributor of books (done), and I’m going to publish at least one novel: The Defenseless, a story I originally wrote in my teens, which I’ve since then rewritten, translated and expanded. Except for one final bout of rereading it’s ready, with cover and everything.

I will restart my career as writer/director/participant/actor in films, theater and plays. 3 shorts and 2 long stories are ready to be made. Confessions of a midnight cannibal could start shooting tomorrow.

I should return to music. I’ve been away from it for too long.

There is a lot of unplowed ground for all of this, a lot not made or published or written. Internet is the new arena for all of it, even though live performances should always be there.

Films, books, music, serialized «tv» (web), totally ignoring the censorship so prevalent today. Let them come for me. They have always done that, and I’m still here.

And my poker success should begin in earnest, of course.

The plan was to reach the final table in a major tournament before the end of 2010. That’s still my goal, even if it has become more difficult because of my troublesome neck.

So, another goal is certainly to get well, to be completely healed.

My neck has made everything more difficult for me, including financially.

During my recent London trip I set out to win enough money to continue to Las Vegas and play in the World Poker Tour festival there, and I was actually not that far away. It is possible. When I focus my will I can do anything. I know that.

I have accomplished all the goals I set for myself when I was twenty, every single one. I had done that by the time I was 42. Things take time, but are doable, with persistence and patience. I learned everything I needed to learn from scratch, without formal schooling. My formal schooling was a great and major disaster, I’m happy to say.

During those 22 years I added new goals for myself, but all those I had listed on my twentieth birthday were accomplished way ahead of the initial schedule… being my entire life.

I have traveled the world, done so several times, have visited all continents except Australia and Antarctica (and I was really close to Antarctica), and met a lot of beyond interesting fellow Travelers with a similar outlook on life. I lived and live on my earnings as a poker player and have played all over the planet.

I have published novels, have become a writer and artist in my own right, in name and fact, independent of the old, trite established and oppressive system. Later I also became an actor, wrote screenplays and played theater, became a musician and a composer. And the musician/composer part wasn’t even in the original plan. That was a coincidence. I tossed a coin when I was fifteen whether I should become a musician or a writer. The writing won, and will always be first, but I can safely state that I got a part of both.

The main objective was personal empowerment. Everything else followed that.

When I was twenty I set out to change my life, to become an assertive and independent person, and I did.

I have had a great life so far. I have become the Nomad, the Traveler I always desired to be, mind and matter and Shadow. I have become a witch, a seeker in Shadow. I’ve become physically fit, able to live and survive in the wilderness, even if I still have a stretch to go before I become a full-fledged survivalist.

All this didn’t find me my accident. I sought it, both within and without, and I found it, against incredible odds.

Variety has become so much more than a word to me.

Hopefully it’s only the beginning.

The most difficult an artist, a creative person can do is to compete against oneself, and I’ve done a lot to compete with, I'm proud to say.

With the current world so full of shit it feels even better to have done and do something honest and real.

The Long Walk

The Mystic's Dream

The Wanderer's Book

Transformation and Metamorphosis

Living in the Wild

True Artistic Freedom

The Long Walk

No comments: